Viral Ad Series

Miller Lite - _ vs. _

2010-07-30T09:31:00.000-07:00

Miller Lite has a radio ad series going on right now explaining why things about their beer are better than the alternative (i.e. fresh vs. stale, old vs. new, etc.). They apply the alternative to famous sayings and figures of speech with some humorous results. Here's the ones I've heard so far.

Fresh vs. stale

You don't go outside for a breath of stale air.
Catching a stale water fish? Bet it has 3 eyes and a hoof.
Brewing a stale pot of coffee? That's one grande stinks-a-latte.
Ah, the smell of stale cut grass. FYI - I'm knee high in manure.
Giving out snacks and re-stale-ments at your party? That's a real party pooper, padre.
A stale baked cookie? That goes great with a warm glass of shut your trap, chap.
Stale squeezed OJ? Ex-squeeze me, but no-J.
If your buddy says he's keeping things stale, that means he needs to change his underpants.
Need to restale your webpage? Go to w-w-w dot getaclue dot nerd.
Don't get stale with me, that's just gross.

Love vs. Like

Like does not make good entertainment.
Anyone wanna take a sail on the Like Boat? No thanks Captain Boring.
If Joanie just liked Chachi: Sunday, Monday, Unhappy Days.
If I just liked Lucy, then Ricky would probably never come home. And if he did, he'd be the one with some splainin' to do.
If Hannibal only liked it when a plan came together, he would only be a member of the "B" Team.
Who likes ya baby? Not Kojak, not anybody.
Remember the movie "Sea of Like?" Sounds like something I wouldn't like to see.
What about the baseball flick "For the Like of the Game?" Bet that one would strike out. Looking.
"Like Actually?" Like, no thanks.

Like does not conquer all.
Like thy neighbor? Time to move.
When was the last time you fell in like? Probably wasn't very comfortable.
How do I like thee? Let me count the ways. Zero.
I like New York. Who doesn't?
If Philadelphia was the city of brotherly like, I'd be on the first train to Pittsburgh.
Do you remember the summer of like? It was hot...and gross.
Like it or leave it? Leave it.
Like it or hate it? Hate it.

More vs. Less

Nobody wants less bang for their buck.
Less power to ya? Good, more for me.
The less the merrier? Maybe if you live in Losertown.
If you want graham cracker, chocolate and marshmallow, you don't want S'mless, you want S'more, Park Ranger McLameovich.
Got a hot girl you're less than friends with? That means she's a stranger. Stop staring, creep-o.
If your local news anchor says "less after this": News flash, he's not wearing any pants.
What's less fun than a barrel of monkeys? Having to clean that barrel.
Say no less. I mean it, stop saying less.

New vs. Old

You don't ring in the old year.
Out with the old, in with the old? That's a vicious cycle of blech.
Buying something as good as old? Have fun antiquing, Old Man River.
Congratulations, you've won an old car! The price is wrong, buck-o.
If scientists were breaking old ground, we'd all have the bubonic plague.
Visiting the state of Old Mexico? It's called Mexico, and it's a country, Senor Smarty-pants.
Going to Old York City? Visit my buddy Stu, Stu Pidface.
There's an old sheriff in town. Crime just went up a 1 gazillion, kajillion percent.
Staying up to watch the 10 o'clock olds. This just in: go to bed.
What else is old? Stupid questions.

Perfect vs. Adequate

Nobody exclaims, "Well that's just adequate!"
A picture-adequate wedding? It's a Vegas drive-thru with a toothless bride named Cinnamon.
He's the adequate gentleman? That explains the lewd photo on his holiday card.
To be adequately honest? Adequate, schmadequate.

Win vs. Lose

You don't play to lose the game.
Loser take all? Maybe if the prize is a sack full of wet dog hair.
Loser, loser, chicken dinner? Here, enjoy this pigeon I found under the viaduct.
Are you in it to lose it? Then I'm out.

Great vs. Average

Ever heard of the Average Wall of China? It runs through the city of Shang-low.
Visiting Average Britain? Check out the clock, Medium Size Ben. It's by Yuckingham Palace.
Ever been attacked by an average white shark? I have...in the form of a week-old tuna fish sandwich.
Bands don't release averagest hits albums, unless they make killer elevator music.
If that book was called Average Expectations, it wouldn't be worth Dickens.
Heard the tales of Alexander the Average? He conquers spreadsheets in our accounting department.
Buying a mug that says "World's Averagest Dad"? You're the world's jerkiest son.
Average minds don't think alike. They don't think, period.

Old Spice - Smell Like a Man and Odor Blocker

2010-07-03T09:54:00.000-07:00

Old Spice has two great campaigns going on right now, one with Isaiah Mustafa and the other with Terry Crews. Here's all the ads:

Isaiah Mustafa ads:

Terry Crews ads:

Dos Equis - Most Interesting Man in the World

2010-06-22T15:52:00.000-07:00

These ads are great, both the TV and the radio ones. Here's everything I could find for both:

A bonus short video:

The TV commercials always end with his signature line: "I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis. Stay thirsty my friends."

Here's quotes from the radio ads:

The police often question him, just because they find him interesting.
He once punched a magician. That's right. You heard me.
When he orders a salad, he gets the dressing right there on top of the salad, where it belongs...where there is no turning back.
If a monument was built in his honor, Mt. Rushmore would close, due to poor attendance.

When it is raining, it is because he is sad.
Even his parrot's advice is insightful.
If there were an interesting gland, his would be larger than most men's entire lower intestines.
His shirts never wrinkle.
He is left-handed. And right-handed.
Even if he forgets to put postage on his mail, it gets there.
He once knew a call was a wrong number, even though the person on the other end wouldn't admit it.
You can see his charisma from space.

He once buried a time capsule full of things that haven't happened yet.
He has been pronounced dead 7 times...make that 8.
His bear hugs are actually hugs he gives to bears.
He can't be bought, but his beard clippings have been know to show up on auction.
He has never lost a sock.
If he disagrees with you, it is because you are wrong.

It is said the sun comes up later on the 6th of May, in case his Cinco parties run long.
The Mayans prophecized his birth.
Even lucha libres remove their masks in his presence.
He once taught a German Shepard to bark in Spanish.
He serves sizzling fajita platters barehanded.
Bulls flat-out refuse to fight him.

Signs that say "This is not an exit" do not apply to him.
If he rides with you in your car, its resale value will instantly increase.
If he passed you on the street you would still feel stopped and said hello and asked you about your day.
He likes the word "fog".
If you were trapped with him in an elevator, you wouldn't want to be saved.
His business card just says, "I'll call you."

Most songs about love are written for him, about him, or by him.
He'd never initiate a conversation about the weather, even in a typhoon.
He's against cruelty to animals, but isn't afraid to issue a stern warning.
Whatever side of the tracks he's currently on is the right side. If he crossed them, he would still be the right side.
He won the same lifetime achievement award twice.

The Aztec calendar has his birthday chiseled in.
The front of his house looks like it was built by the Mayans...because it was.
His tacos refuse to fall from the shell.
If you were to see him walking chihuahua, it would still look masculine.
Dicing onions doesn't make him cry...it only makes him stronger.
He has never filled up on chips.

He has served as best man for grooms he's never met.
He strongly abides by the motto: "Safety third."
His garden maze is responsible for more missing persons than the Bermuda Triangle.
Even watching him sleep has been described as breathtaking.
He's never needed lip balm.
He went to a psychic once...to warn her.

When he holds a shell up to his hear, he hears adult contemporary hits from the '90s.
His monkey business is the official business he carries on with primates.
The dinner he made last night was delicious. Ask anyone.
He finds squirrels untrustworthy.
If he were to say, "it's not you, it's me" he would be lying.
He figure skates, and it is glorious.

If you have anything to add, drop a line in the comments!

Hillshire Farms - Go Meat!

2010-02-20T08:27:00.000-08:00

There was a collection of great TV commercials made by Hillshire Farms to promote their lunch meat, with the tagline "Go Meat!". Here's all the ones I could find:

Viral Ad Series

Miller Lite - ___ vs. ___

Old Spice - Smell Like a Man and Odor Blocker

Dos Equis - Most Interesting Man in the World

Hillshire Farms - Go Meat!

Miller Lite - _ vs. _